ten.

Fair warning in advance. There aren't really pictures from today. I had the craziest day yet at my new job, jumped back on the exercise bandwagon after work and went to Zumba, and then spent 30 minutes on the phone with Charter arguing about a bill. YAY! Andplusalso, I forgot to open the envelope this morning, so I had to do it when I got home. I was hoping it wasn't time intensive or else I'd have to put it off for another day. Thankfully, it's something that can be done.

The paper said "Think of 10 people that have encouraged you the most in the past year and tell them thank you."

So, what I'm going to do is write them all thank you notes here, and then tag them on facebook so they can come read them.

First of all, before I start, I want to say that this past year has been one of the most trying and difficult years of my life and so many of you have been such a huge blessing in my life. So here is an overall thank you to all of you that have been a support system for me in this time.

Ok. Here goes.

Mom,

First I can say how thankful I am that I can't remember a time in our relationship where it was ever unstable. I don't recall teenage years of thinking, oh my gosh, my mom is so annoying. Because truthfully, you've been nothing but incredible my whole life. I was always afraid of being someone that didn't quite measure up in your eyes, I'm not sure why, maybe it was seeing all you had accomplished in life so far and realizing that was a lot to live up to. Yet, over the past few years, and this year specifically you've really made me realize how much you love and accept me for the person I am and what I want to do with my life. We all know I'll never graduate from Law School, but the fact that you encourage me and have been probably my biggest supporter in my photography business means the world to me. Thank you for being a sounding board when I felt like no one else would listen. Thank you for being my crazy dancing partner on the dance floor on the cruise. Thank you for teaching me what it really means to love unconditionally. I love you.

Pops,

I don't know when or why I started calling you Pops, but for some reason it has stuck and well, I like it, so deal with it. I believe I said this on your birthday in a shout out post on facebook, but you are the greatest example of what a father should be and what a husband should be. I see the way you love mom and it encourages me that I could be loved like that too. We are so much alike inside and out that it's almost scary. But it's also reassuring knowing that I can confide in you, because you get me. Thank you for the tough love when tough love was needed. Thank you for grace and compassion when that's what I  needed. And thank you for being a friend to me, in a time where I felt alone, I always knew you'd be there to pick me up and laugh with me about something silly like Photoshop disasters or My Drunk Kitchen. You know how to turn things around and help me realize that though all of the pain and hurt and all of the everyday things can be overwhelming, I can manage, and more than that, I can succeed. Love you.

Lisamarie,

If there's any friend out there who has ever seen me at my worst, it's you. You came into my life at the perfect time and for that I am very grateful. You're the friend I can drop in on at any given moment and we can just "be". I don't feel pressured to be a certain way or act a certain way when I'm with you. I can show up, no make-up on, in dingy clothing and take up space in your living room all day and though it may not seem like you're doing much, those are some of the things I needed most this past year. You bring me laughter and you have this energetic, warm, spontaneous personality that just brings so much joy to my life. Thank you for letting me sit on the swing at boogaloo many a Wednesday night and just be in your company. Thank you for giving me a room to sleep in when I felt like I had nowhere else to go. Thank you for being my bestie.

Aunt Trudy,

I love being in a family of friends. I love that you cared enough about me and everything that I was going through to take time away from your family and sit with me and share drinks and be a listening ear and a source of solid encouragement and advice. I always have fun when you are around and you have this magical way of lightening the atmosphere when things were really heavy in my life. Thanks for letting me lounge in your pool, and thanks for letting my friends crash with me. I'll remember to eat more food and drink more water next time. ;) I'm really grateful that you're my Aunt, but even more grateful that you're my friend.

Jess,

Oh man oh man. Where do I even begin? Never would I have imagined that we'd be in this place together. I've always always always considered you the sister I never had. I admired you growing up and when you moved away, I was very sad. The circumstances which brought you back to St. Louis are ones I would never wish on my worst enemy, but regardless I'm thankful to have you in my life again. We've walked through the pits together, haven't we? In all of the pain and hurt you were experiencing, you made time in your life, and a place in your heart for me and my pain and that was one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given. We had late night cry sessions, plenty of laughter through the tears, and most of all just incredible amounts of bonding and I feel closer to you than ever before. I love you more than you'll ever know and I love your boys to the ends of the earth. Someday, I believe our unicorns will come. Thank you for being there for me in my darkest moments and shedding hints of light in parts of me that hadn't seen light in ages. You are a godsend and I love love love you forever.

Jeff and Tammy,

I'm gonna cheat and combine you into one, but you'll still get equal amounts of love. First, Jeff, you were a solid rock for me and a place to go when I needed reinforcement. You took that pain that I was experiencing and you turned it around and reminded me of the goodness of God. If it weren't for you, I truly feel I'd be in a much darker place. Your prayers and counsel have pulled me through and are still pulling me through all of this and for that I am so grateful. Tammy, you're a lion disguised as a sweet gentle lamb. You took me in your arms and you pointed me towards truth. You showed me things about myself that I had stopped believing in and you reminded me that I am loved. You wre a constant support in those late late hours when I was feeling lonely and weak and I could text you for prayer and on top of your prayers, you'd always send encouragement. Thank you for making yourself available to me and thank you for your friendship.

Ra,

This sweet internet friend from Georgia who came into my life and drops little hints of love and encouragement right at the right times. You don't even "know" me, but yet you've extended such kindness and love towards me that it's so appreciated. I have a feeling that if we lived closer together we would spend a lot of time together and we would just have a blast. Thank you for going out on a limb and loving me and being my friend. You are so wonderful.

Nik,

Nik, Nik, Nik. My best friend I've never met. Where did you even come from? I don't know but I do know that without you my world would be a darker, duller place. The way you embrace life has really challenged me to take each day and look at it differently. Yes, what I am going through isn't ideal, it's not what I had ever hoped for, but you've reminded me that it's all part of the process. You remind me that I'm beautiful in the most simplest ways. You may not even know that you're doing it, but you're empowering me to embrace myself, in all of my quirks, in all of my shortcomings, and love myself, and love life. The way you see the world and the way you live life is truly inspiring. So thank you for that. I cannot wait to Rihanna dance, get tattoos, drink hpno on ice and thrift to our hearts desire in April.

Last, but not least is Amanda,

Whew girl. If anyone has had a trying time this year, it's you. Your strength through adversity and your tenacity to love throughout everything you have been through in the past 6 weeks is awe inspiring. The way that you love and care for your girls, and your relationship with your husband and the strength of your marriage is something I aspire to have someday. I love you for your blunt way of going about things at time. I appreciate a friend who is a no bull, tell it like it is kind of person and I needed that in my life this past year. If anything you taught me to stand up for myself, to take hold of my life, and plow through it all. Thank you for being my friend through everything. And thank you for giving my sock monkey pajamas a nice new home.

nine.

 

Traditions have always meant a lot to me. I come from a family that is very close knit and I consider my parents my closest friends. 

I have distinct memories of waking up on Christmas morning and the first thing that would hint that it was Christmas was the smell of sausage that was cooking in the kitchen. We had a few years in a row where my family would host Christmas morning festivities at our home in the city. I loved it. I get giddy thinking about those memories. I loved jumping out of bed, putting on my Christmas best, and waiting patiently while the rest of the family would arrive. Nana would walk in with the party potato casserole, (hold while I drool for a moment) and Papa would have that pile of presents and you'd eye it up wondering which one was yours.

On my mom's side of the family we would always go look at Christmas lights while "Santa" came. (Or while the dishes got cleaned and Grandma Armstrong put the presents under the tree.) Even after Grandma passed away and we were all too old for Santa, we would still go look at lights in the neighborhood, because it's tradition.

I want to have special traditions with my own family some day. But for now, it's me and the furballs, and well, I can't see myself driving them around to look at lights. Hello, crazy lady.

But who says I can't start a tradition of my own? And then some day I'll be lucky enough to continue those traditions with my little family.

So today's mission was simple. Find an ornament that triggered a special memory. Buy it. Hang it on the tree. An ornament that reminded me why I love a certain family member, an ornament that brought back a childhood memory, or an ornament that symbolized a time in my life that was important to me. Turns out this mission wasn't so simple.

I got my workout in by going from store to store to store until I found just the right ornament. First Target. (Which was a Christmas miracle in and of itself to not walk out with anything from Target). I looked at Michaels, a dollar store, Bed Bath and Beyond. Until I found just what I wanted. A cow. And a chicken. Strange ornaments to settle on, but let me explain why I picked them.

 

When I lived in Burkina Faso, West Africa for a few months when I was 19 we had a cow on the complex. Ironically enough, the children had named him Brochette (which is French for shishkabob) and he lived on our land and we fed him and fattened him until one day he would provide many many meals for the kids at the orphanage. Africa took a piece of my heart when I left and ever since I have longed to go back. That was a poignant time in my life where I really took a lot of time to reflect on my life and see where it is that I wanted to go from there. Those children brought me so much joy and living there taught me more things than you could ever gain from a college classroom. Some day I want to tell my kids stories of Africa and teach them the importance of caring for the widow and the orphan. Teach them that it's not just about us. 

So that's why Brochette sits on my tree.

 

This little guy has no name. But keeping in line with the traveling theme, he reminds me of my many trips to Guatemala. One of the first times I was there I remember getting on what they call Chicken Buses. It's their form of Bi-State bus, or subway or Metro. You think the subways in New York are crowded? Climb on to a chicken bus. I was barely 14 years old the first time I was on a Chicken Bus. It was hot, smelly, and crowded (I distinctly remember having an amigo's crotch in my face.) People were hanging off the back of the bus, on the outside, as we zipped down and through the winding Guatemalan roads. I could have easily been overwhelmed, and maybe I was slightly, but mostly I was in awe, and I was in love. That first ride on that Chicken Bus ignited a spark in my heart for the country and people of Guatemala. So that's why Mr. Chicken sits on my tree.

I love traditions. And I love knowing what other people do. What are your family traditions? Leave your stories in the comments. I'd love to hear them!

eight.

There are everyday jobs that get done without fail and we just tend to overlook the people that perform them. The public transportation drivers who spend their days dealing with one of my least favorite things on the planet, traffic. The sanitation and trash employees who keep our alleys and streets free and clear of trash tumble weeds. And the post office employees, who so faithfully deliver our mail, wanted mail and unwanted mail, to our homes every day. Especially this time of year when our mailboxes are a bit more crowded, it's important to take the time to thank the mailmen and women who bring us updates from our loved ones around the country and world. I hate winter and thankfully so far we are gearing up for what might be another mild one, but even still, I can't imagine trudging around all day in the cold just to put pieces of paper in a box. 

So, when you're at the grocery store and you see the bag boy, tell him thank you.

When you are getting your Nonfat Soy Vanilla Latte at 5:30 am from Starbucks, tell that barista thank you.

Today, I thanked the mailman. I hope it makes his day. Or hers. 

seven.

My friend Becky grew up in a neighborhood that many people considered Pleasantville. Everyone knew everyone. Everyone liked everyone. And people were in and out of your home like it was nothing. The whole street was just one big family. I was always envious of that.

I had cray cray neighbors. On the right of us were these folks who always had stern looks on their faces, kept to themselves, and the only time you'd ever hear a peep from them was when they lost their cat and would yell repeatedly out of their back door "Here Kitty!" until the wife would lose her voice or the cat would get so annoyed by her that he'd just give in and come back temporarily.

To the left of us we had a couple that in the beginning we thought would be good neighbors. The wife would give me and my brother those sour cherry balls in baggies through the fence...only they were blueberry flavored...and as a kid, how cool was that? Free candy.

But then as time progressed things just went south. They were not the kindest people and I'm pretty sure I had nightmares about the mean man next door. And also I started to believe that those blue candies were poisoned and I was dying a slow death.

Needless to say, we weren't necessarily in Pleasantville.

Then my family moved out to Waterloo, Illinois. A beautiful big yellow house on a large, serene piece of land. The no neighbor thing was kind of nice. You had space. You could go in the front yard to let out the beagle in your underwear and a t-shirt and no one would care. Because you were the only one there.

You adjusted to the distance of your neighbors. They'd have to drive over to visit. I mean getting the mail was a trek in and of itself. But once I wished so badly that we had people living next door. I got locked out on the back deck. All alone at the house. No one would be back for hours. And here I was trapped on the deck, the cats staring at me from the inside like I was some kind of fool, and the dogs barking from a floor below. It was almost as if they were mocking me and I was mad at them because they were definitely not behaving in a manner like I had expected them to. This was a moment where I needed them to pull a Lassie stunt and go bark in someone's face until they said "Wait, what's that? Audrey's trapped on the deck?" But no. I stood out there for nearly 3 and a half hours until I managed to wiggle the door handle hard enough that the door came slightly off it's hinges and I was set free back into the home.

What am I getting at here? 

A good neighbor is appreciated. I could spend all my time waiting for my neighbors to reach out to me, but why not reach out to them? I just moved into a new home and my neighbor next door is a sweet, quiet older woman, who seems to value her family very much. And she gets a lot of phone calls. :)

I would love for her to know that she could count on me if need be. Even if she's run out of eggs.

But that's what neighbors are for.

So I'm glad today's challenge was what it was, because it enabled me to establish a relationship with my neighbor, with the small gift of chocolate cupcakes and a handwritten note.

A small token and extension of kindness, but sometimes that's all it takes.

This Christmas season, remember to be a good neighbor. You never know what it could do for someone.

six.

This should speak for itself. And don't be too hard on me. :)

Day 6 Advent Challenge

Five.

In this technologically advanced world we live in, there are some things that used to be common to our every day life that have now been tossed aside, and in this case it involves two of them. Phone books. And snail mail.

Who doesn't love getting a card in the mail? So much of what's in the mail these days are the bills that we haven't yet set up to receive electronically, or have automatically taken out of our bank account, or the bi-weekly Bed Bath and Beyond ad. I think people deserve happy surprises in the mail.

Phone books? We used them all the time back in the day. Toilet clogged and flooding the bathroom? Skim your finger down the plumber section of the yellow pages. C'mon Google? In 1993 the phrase "google it" hadn't quite made it to the dictionary yet. Had a friend that recently moved and you forgot what their number was? It's not in your iPhone. What's that? Go grab the 5lb. white pages. 

To execute this, I was going to need a phone book for sure. You can't just randomly select someone's address on Google. I had to do the old fashioned flip open the book, close my eyes, circle around the page a few times and then point.

So before work I headed to CVS and grabbed a really adorable Christmas Card.

Then I wrote a note to the stranger, advising them that they were luckily and randomly chosen for this challenge today.

I don't own a phone book, but thankfully my work had a recent one lying around and so flip, circle and point I did and landed on a lovely person named Emma. I've covered most of her address to protect her privacy, but she does have a lovely name.

I'm really hoping that this brightens her day and that she really does have a wonderful Christmas.

And what are the odds, on my way home from work, I passed a street called Westgate. I wonder if that's where our mystery person lives? 

In closing, doing this reminded me how much I really enjoy sending and receiving mail. It tends to be something that is a little more popular during the Christmas season, but why not throughout the year. You never know whose day you might make by sending them a nice card to say hello. I highly recommend it.

Four.

Today's challenge was lighthearted and simple. It was a good laugh after a long day at work. I had one of those days that just seemed to drag on and then when I got home I had a long laundry list of things to do...including laundry (which I never got around to) and so I needed something to lighten the mood a bit. This was perfect.

I found a website that gave me six random words. I would turn off the lights, blindly reach into a box of crayons and draw away, hoping that my many countless hours in the art room at Notre Dame with       Mrs. Markowski would pay off. 

See for yourself. I'll add my own commentary to each picture drawn.

First up, Mr. Giraffe. 

Solid effort on trying to add the spots. Failed effort on correct amount of legs. Decent tree.

On to the cupcake.

Here's where some of what I learned in art class came in handy. Continuous lines. As you can see with the cupcake, I attempted to make the outline of the cupcake with one continuous line. And then I struggled to fill in the cherry and the icing. But hey, look at that, I managed to get the cupcake on a plate.

Now for the Port.

I'm pretty proud of this one. It has a lot of detail if you look close. 4 boats. Waves. A city skyline (in lime green). A dock (also in a very pale shade of green). And there's even a person walking on the dock. (What do you know, he's green too.)

Oh, I think it's going to rain.

I look at this and I think of Peter Gabriel's song Red Rain. What can I say, I'm a sucker for 80's music, especially Peter. I'm also pretty dang proud of that umbrella.

Senor Mustache?

Fortunate for me, what was supposed to be his mouth kind of resembles a very impressive pink goatee. And would you look at that mustache in all of it's blue glory? Amazing.

Resembles more of a kitchen sink with music notes eerily floating around it, but hey, look at my box shape. Impressive.

This definitely was the laugh I needed today. Sometimes it's just good to let loose and do something goofy. Usually for me, that's dancing in front of a mirror. Tonight, it was coloring in the dark. I will proudly display these in my room as a reminder to just lighten up and enjoy the silliness of life sometimes.