ten.

Fair warning in advance. There aren't really pictures from today. I had the craziest day yet at my new job, jumped back on the exercise bandwagon after work and went to Zumba, and then spent 30 minutes on the phone with Charter arguing about a bill. YAY! Andplusalso, I forgot to open the envelope this morning, so I had to do it when I got home. I was hoping it wasn't time intensive or else I'd have to put it off for another day. Thankfully, it's something that can be done.

The paper said "Think of 10 people that have encouraged you the most in the past year and tell them thank you."

So, what I'm going to do is write them all thank you notes here, and then tag them on facebook so they can come read them.

First of all, before I start, I want to say that this past year has been one of the most trying and difficult years of my life and so many of you have been such a huge blessing in my life. So here is an overall thank you to all of you that have been a support system for me in this time.

Ok. Here goes.

Mom,

First I can say how thankful I am that I can't remember a time in our relationship where it was ever unstable. I don't recall teenage years of thinking, oh my gosh, my mom is so annoying. Because truthfully, you've been nothing but incredible my whole life. I was always afraid of being someone that didn't quite measure up in your eyes, I'm not sure why, maybe it was seeing all you had accomplished in life so far and realizing that was a lot to live up to. Yet, over the past few years, and this year specifically you've really made me realize how much you love and accept me for the person I am and what I want to do with my life. We all know I'll never graduate from Law School, but the fact that you encourage me and have been probably my biggest supporter in my photography business means the world to me. Thank you for being a sounding board when I felt like no one else would listen. Thank you for being my crazy dancing partner on the dance floor on the cruise. Thank you for teaching me what it really means to love unconditionally. I love you.

Pops,

I don't know when or why I started calling you Pops, but for some reason it has stuck and well, I like it, so deal with it. I believe I said this on your birthday in a shout out post on facebook, but you are the greatest example of what a father should be and what a husband should be. I see the way you love mom and it encourages me that I could be loved like that too. We are so much alike inside and out that it's almost scary. But it's also reassuring knowing that I can confide in you, because you get me. Thank you for the tough love when tough love was needed. Thank you for grace and compassion when that's what I  needed. And thank you for being a friend to me, in a time where I felt alone, I always knew you'd be there to pick me up and laugh with me about something silly like Photoshop disasters or My Drunk Kitchen. You know how to turn things around and help me realize that though all of the pain and hurt and all of the everyday things can be overwhelming, I can manage, and more than that, I can succeed. Love you.

Lisamarie,

If there's any friend out there who has ever seen me at my worst, it's you. You came into my life at the perfect time and for that I am very grateful. You're the friend I can drop in on at any given moment and we can just "be". I don't feel pressured to be a certain way or act a certain way when I'm with you. I can show up, no make-up on, in dingy clothing and take up space in your living room all day and though it may not seem like you're doing much, those are some of the things I needed most this past year. You bring me laughter and you have this energetic, warm, spontaneous personality that just brings so much joy to my life. Thank you for letting me sit on the swing at boogaloo many a Wednesday night and just be in your company. Thank you for giving me a room to sleep in when I felt like I had nowhere else to go. Thank you for being my bestie.

Aunt Trudy,

I love being in a family of friends. I love that you cared enough about me and everything that I was going through to take time away from your family and sit with me and share drinks and be a listening ear and a source of solid encouragement and advice. I always have fun when you are around and you have this magical way of lightening the atmosphere when things were really heavy in my life. Thanks for letting me lounge in your pool, and thanks for letting my friends crash with me. I'll remember to eat more food and drink more water next time. ;) I'm really grateful that you're my Aunt, but even more grateful that you're my friend.

Jess,

Oh man oh man. Where do I even begin? Never would I have imagined that we'd be in this place together. I've always always always considered you the sister I never had. I admired you growing up and when you moved away, I was very sad. The circumstances which brought you back to St. Louis are ones I would never wish on my worst enemy, but regardless I'm thankful to have you in my life again. We've walked through the pits together, haven't we? In all of the pain and hurt you were experiencing, you made time in your life, and a place in your heart for me and my pain and that was one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given. We had late night cry sessions, plenty of laughter through the tears, and most of all just incredible amounts of bonding and I feel closer to you than ever before. I love you more than you'll ever know and I love your boys to the ends of the earth. Someday, I believe our unicorns will come. Thank you for being there for me in my darkest moments and shedding hints of light in parts of me that hadn't seen light in ages. You are a godsend and I love love love you forever.

Jeff and Tammy,

I'm gonna cheat and combine you into one, but you'll still get equal amounts of love. First, Jeff, you were a solid rock for me and a place to go when I needed reinforcement. You took that pain that I was experiencing and you turned it around and reminded me of the goodness of God. If it weren't for you, I truly feel I'd be in a much darker place. Your prayers and counsel have pulled me through and are still pulling me through all of this and for that I am so grateful. Tammy, you're a lion disguised as a sweet gentle lamb. You took me in your arms and you pointed me towards truth. You showed me things about myself that I had stopped believing in and you reminded me that I am loved. You wre a constant support in those late late hours when I was feeling lonely and weak and I could text you for prayer and on top of your prayers, you'd always send encouragement. Thank you for making yourself available to me and thank you for your friendship.

Ra,

This sweet internet friend from Georgia who came into my life and drops little hints of love and encouragement right at the right times. You don't even "know" me, but yet you've extended such kindness and love towards me that it's so appreciated. I have a feeling that if we lived closer together we would spend a lot of time together and we would just have a blast. Thank you for going out on a limb and loving me and being my friend. You are so wonderful.

Nik,

Nik, Nik, Nik. My best friend I've never met. Where did you even come from? I don't know but I do know that without you my world would be a darker, duller place. The way you embrace life has really challenged me to take each day and look at it differently. Yes, what I am going through isn't ideal, it's not what I had ever hoped for, but you've reminded me that it's all part of the process. You remind me that I'm beautiful in the most simplest ways. You may not even know that you're doing it, but you're empowering me to embrace myself, in all of my quirks, in all of my shortcomings, and love myself, and love life. The way you see the world and the way you live life is truly inspiring. So thank you for that. I cannot wait to Rihanna dance, get tattoos, drink hpno on ice and thrift to our hearts desire in April.

Last, but not least is Amanda,

Whew girl. If anyone has had a trying time this year, it's you. Your strength through adversity and your tenacity to love throughout everything you have been through in the past 6 weeks is awe inspiring. The way that you love and care for your girls, and your relationship with your husband and the strength of your marriage is something I aspire to have someday. I love you for your blunt way of going about things at time. I appreciate a friend who is a no bull, tell it like it is kind of person and I needed that in my life this past year. If anything you taught me to stand up for myself, to take hold of my life, and plow through it all. Thank you for being my friend through everything. And thank you for giving my sock monkey pajamas a nice new home.